I have faith - not as defined as a belief that is not based on proof but as a confidence based on some degree of warrant, justification, a guarantee. i have positive assurance that when i remain present to the moments in my day the experiences of life reveal a path filled with solutions, filled with answers to the challenges i will face.
I have come to rely upon my intuition. i didn’t always. For many years i was deluged with unrelenting fears. I was fearful about what you thought of me. I wanted you to like me. I wanted to be successful. I walked through the world at moments believing i was on top of the world and the next moment feeling like an ant that had been run over by a bulldozer.
Over the years through developing some discipline through different forms of daily practice i have come to experience life very differently. My first response is rarely to get angry - although it can still happen at times! My primary coping skill is not found in a bottle tall, short, fat or skinny! My next coping skill is not to take off to the high country and stay away for long periods of time, although I have to say that remains an appealing dream solution at times!
My first response usually is to take a deep breath in - deep breath out and remember it will all be okay - AND if I am not feeling as though it is okay in this moment, to remember this feeling will pass and if it is not okay this particular journey is not yet done!
This little practice comes from years of experience, that experience provided me with the best training and education of my life. These experiences in my life have provided me with the security, the guarantee - The experiences ground my faith!
So as i traverse this latest phase of my current journey - i have faith that i will learn new lessons. That some of my rough edges will be smoothed out.
thanks for traveling this journey with me, annie loyd
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